Forgetting Something
forget it
There is almost always something I feel like I am forgetting to do. There is always some buzz in the back of my mind muttering it. You’re forgetting something, something important. Something you have always wanted to do. And now is your only chance. Because it’s always now. And you’re always forgetting to do something. What hell this is.
Because I am always doing something too. Except for those extended periods of time when I am, in fact, doing nothing. But for the most part I am usually doing something, right? And, If I choose to do nothing, shouldn’t I be entitled to enjoy my nothing time not worrying about something? I’ve earned it by doing so much of the something! If I spend my whole life constantly kicking myself for not doing something, then I’ll never be able to be happy because then, even if I have really, actually done something, I still won’t be satisfied. Unless that is just what life is.
Or, and I hope this one is true, life is about overcoming your somethings. Its about fighting the buzz of should-do, should-be-doing, and should-have-done. Not that you shouldn’t do, be doing, or have done something, it’s that maybe, if you really want to find satisfaction, you have to first be okay with doing nothing. Not, in the cozy-day-in-with-pjs-on kind of way, I mean that you must be content with existing at rest, with no plans for growth, no conquest, or remodeling, no reboot, or hopes for praise, or great expansion; you have to have peace for its own sake and no other. Otherwise, you will never escape it: the constant ache to have more, to do more, to be more. You will accomplish great things, perhaps, but there will never be peace, only empty laurels and dust- and the horrible feeling that there is something you are forgetting to do.
Afterthought of Significant Importance
Do not mistake stasis for peace, though. Just because you see someone doing something, does not mean they will end up unsatisfied clinging to their riches in some empty mansion somewhere. And just because you’re doing nothing doesn’t mean you are enlightened beyond worldly aspirations. It probably just means you have an internet addiction and a lack of direction in your life (by you I mean me, of course). Because, for whatever reason, we all have to do something. But, it is up to each individual to decide, what their something is, how they will do it, and how they will feel once it is done. I hope we can all find some peace somewhere along the way. That would really be something.
